Forgiveness is a reality that impacts all of our lives. At some time or other we have all received it or given it, withheld it from others or had it withheld from us. Family life, neighbourly relations, and friendships all depend on forgiveness. Wrongs of one sort or another creep into every relationship eventually, and forgiveness is the key to moving beyond these wrongs.
Why it’s necessary
Forgiveness is necessary if we want to live out the life that Paul has outlined to the Colossians in 3:12. Compassion, kindness, and all the rest are easier to give when people are treating us well. But what about when they don’t? That’s why Paul reminds us in 3:13 that as we live this new life in Christ we have to be ready to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.”
What it’s based on
The forgiveness that we practice is based on the forgiveness God has lavishly granted us through Jesus’ self-giving on the cross: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (3:13). Christian forgiveness is not based on whether the person who wrongs us deserves it. We are passing along the same mercy that we have received. Neither is forgiveness something we do as a way to make ourselves psychologically healthier (even if that is a side effect). We forgive because we have been forgiven. Jesus’ parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18 teaches this.
What it looks like for us and for others
When we practice forgiveness as a community of believers, it looks like the story of Jesus being lived out. When we forgive, then, we are led to a deeper grasp of God’s own love for us (3:14), and others are seeing a picture of the good news that is found in Jesus.
By practicing forgiveness, we acknowledge both the reality of sin and the beauty of God’s grace. By practicing forgiveness in the community of believers (the church), we learn how to live out that forgiveness in our homes, neighbourhoods and workplaces. By doing that, we bear witness to the possibility for changed lives.
Discussion Questions
1. When has the need for forgiveness significantly touched your life or the life of someone you love?
2. When is it easy to extend forgiveness to someone?
3. What are some variables or factors that might make it difficult for you to forgive someone.
4. Consider the forgiveness of Jesus. Have you or someone you know ever struggled with believing that they could be forgiven? What made it a struggle?
5. Read Mark 11:25 and Luke 17:3-4. These two passages present different situations. Do you think a person needs to ask for forgiveness in order for you to give it? Why or why not? What might it look like to try to forgive someone who never attempts to make things right?
6. Read Matthew 6:9-15. How do you think verses 14-15 should be understood? How do you relate these verses to the reality of forgiveness expressed in Ephesians 1:5-7 or Colossians 1:13-14?
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