Making Friends--John 15:9-17 (April 6th Sermon summary and discussion questions)

On the night before Jesus died, he talked to his followers about many things (John 13-17). He told them about the sacrificial love that he would fully display the next morning. He talked about the coming of the Holy Spirit as the One who would help them and teach them. He prayed for his disciples to be able to navigate life and witness in a sometimes harsh world. In the middle of this teaching (John 15:9-17), Jesus made a point of telling his followers that he considered them to be his friends. It was as a friend that Jesus was going to the cross (“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”).

The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, also spoke about the possibility of someone giving up their life for another person. He says this kind of self-giving is rare, but conceivable (Romans 5:7). But then Paul points out something extraordinary about Jesus’ death: it was while we were sinners, even while we were enemies, that Christ died for us (Romans 5:8-10). Jesus’ death accomplished what we could not do for ourselves: it made us right with God and opened the way for us to live a new life. Set side-by-side, these two texts tell us that Jesus died to turn enemies into friends.

How should we respond to this great act of making friends?

1. Think of your relationship with God in terms of an invitation to friendship. It is clear that our connection with Jesus is always to be seen in terms of a personal relationship, so that we can never treat Jesus like a wise man at a distance or like a dispenser of good advice for life. We are invited to treat our relationship with Jesus as we would treat our growing closeness with a faithful friend. He promises always to be with us. He promises that when two or three of us get together in his name, he is there in our midst. We don’t need to convince Jesus to be our friend. He already is. He doesn’t need to be reconciled to us. We need to be reconciled to him. So we are called to let down the barriers and open ourselves up to receiving his friendship. And like a really good friend, we trust that he is there to accompany us and to talk to us (through Scripture reading and prayer). But because our friend is also our Saviour and Lord, he also calls for obedience to his commands (John 15:9, 14, 17). His commands (which can also be summarized in the one command for us to love one another) are not meant to be a burden. They are meant to bring us into the fullness of joy (John 15:11).

2. Our mission as Jesus’ friends is to extend his friendship to others. “Love each other as I have loved you,” Jesus said. He says that his love for his friends mirrors the love he has received from his Father, and we, as recipients of Jesus’ love, are to pass it on to those we meet. This includes fellow believers (“each other”) as well as other friends and neighbours and acquaintances (“I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit,” v. 16). The kind of love we are to share is the kind of love we have received from Jesus: the kind that extended friendship to people who weren’t yet friends, and who even were enemies. As we consider reaching out as a community of faith to the world around us, we do not look for people who seem to us to be “our kind of people” or “almost Christian“ in their behavior. And as individuals, to “love as Jesus loved” will mean letting go of grudges and offenses, and always being people who offer reconciliation.

Discussion questions

Discussion starter: Think of the relationship you have with a good friend (apart from your spouse or siblings). What makes that relationship important to you? When is it easy or difficult for you to be a good friend to that person?

1. Read John 15:9-17. What is involved in friendship as Jesus articulates it here?

2. Read Romans 5:6-11. What does this passage tell us about God‘s reconciling love toward us? Look at it from multiple angles:

- the activity of God

- the life of Jesus

- our involvement

- what has happened already vs. what we still expect and hope for, etc.

3. Is the thought of “friendship with Jesus” a familiar one for you? What do you think are some of the benefits of thinking of our relationship with Jesus in terms of a friendship? What are some possible pitfalls?

4. In what ways were we enemies of God, as Romans 5:10 describes our state before Jesus? How do we sometimes still behave like his enemies?

5. How can the church – the community of Jesus‘ friends – show his kind of friendship to people in our neighbourhood? Be as specific as you can: how can we as Bedford Baptist do this?

6. How might you as an individual be able to show friendship to people in your life in a way that reflects his friendship toward you?